How to know your talking stage isn’t leading anywhere

If you feel stuck in the talking stage, it’s okay to walk away.

The talking stage can be exciting. You’re getting to know someone new, butterflies are fluttering in your tummy, and there’s a ton to talk about.

But sometimes, that exciting feeling starts to fade, and you’re left wondering: “Is this going anywhere?” You might be texting all the time, but are you actually getting closer?

Here’s the thing: the talking stage is supposed to be a fun way to see if you click with someone if you want to take things further. But what if weeks (or even months!) turn into a talking marathon with no clear finish line?

Here are some signs that your “talking stage” might not be leading to a real relationship:

1. You feel like the only one putting in effort

A healthy relationship is a two-way street. This means both people are putting in effort to stay connected.

Are you the one always initiating calls or texts? Does it feel like you have to drag interesting topics out of your partner? If you’re constantly reaching out and they seem lukewarm, it might be a sign they’re not that interested.

2. Conversations are shallow or one-sided

Great conversations are like building a bridge – you share ideas and experiences that connect you. Are your conversations always about the same things, like how you slept or what you ate for lunch? Does it feel like you can never get beyond small talk? If deeper conversations never seem to happen, it might be hard to build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

3. They’re not interested in getting to know the real you

Getting to know someone goes beyond favourite foods and hobbies. Does your partner seem curious about your dreams, fears, or past experiences? Do they share their own vulnerabilities with you? If the conversations never go beyond surface-level topics, it might be a sign they’re not interested in the real you.

4. They’re not making plans to see you in person

Texting and calling are great, but a real relationship involves spending time together face-to-face. Does your partner seem hesitant to meet up in person? Do they constantly flake on plans or come up with last-minute excuses? If seeing you in person never seems to be a priority, it might be a sign they’re not looking for something serious.

5. They’re not clear about what they want

Sometimes, people keep things casual because they’re not sure what they want from a relationship. Have you ever talked about what you’re both looking for? Does your partner avoid the topic of exclusivity, or seem hesitant to define the relationship? If you’re both on different pages about what you want, it might be hard to move forward.

6. There are red flags you can’t ignore

Sometimes, there might be bigger issues that make a relationship unlikely to work. Does your partner show signs of disrespect, controlling behaviour, or dishonesty? Are there dealbreakers, like different values or life goals, that can’t be overcome? If there are red flags waving in your face, it’s important to listen to them.

If you’re unsure where things stand, it’s always best to talk to your partner openly and honestly. Let them know you’d like something more than just talking, and see how they respond. If they’re on the same page, great! If not, it might be time to move on and find someone who’s looking for the same things you are.